Can anyone explain why those in power cater to people that don’t speak English?  Why money is spent on printing any number of different documents in whatever language we can guilt the government into printing?  The government is not a private industry.  They make their money from non-production of goods and services (which takes away from those making goods and services).  If a private company deems it necessary, so be it.  It’s not coming out of anyone’s pocket unless they choose to spend it.  When the government uses taxpayer dollars to translate things into another language, then there’s a problem.  Why can’t this be a local issue?  If there’s a significant local population that speaks a specific language, let them pay for it.

Learn the language.  Is there a cultural bias?  Yes, there is, and being in the United States that kind of makes sense.  One would expect Italians to have a cultural bias toward Italy, why would it be different here?  It does not mean one is superior to another, but it does mean that when in the United States it is fair to be bias toward the United States and its history.  Were one to move to another country, learn another language.  If one moves here, then learn English, or, if you don’t, live in the community that other immigrants have created (Chinatown, Little Italy, Japantown, wherever).  If one is happy living there and don’t feel the need to learn English, good.

Those cultural pockets are fantastic places to go.  They allow one to experience other cultures.  The food, the market, what life might be like there.  Few things are as entertaining as walking through Chinatown watching some fish guy pound the head of a giant sea bass with a wooden mallet…that’s cool.  He doesn’t have to learn English if he doesn’t want, but if that’s the case, he won’t be able to read anything printed in English, or communicate in English.  It’s not the government’s responsibility to assist people who want to remain part of that culture and not branch out.  The government is supposed to educate on these sorts of things, if the ignorant choose to pass on that education, then that’s their prerogative.  It is after all, supposed to be about free choice.

For those that claim that we’re a bunch of cultures, mixed together…I’ll not disagree with that assessment.  But we need to have some sort of commonality, and communication should be where it starts.

“English is the common language of the people of the United States of America and the state of California…”

“English is the official language of the state of California.”

- Constitution of the State of California, Article III, Section 6, paragraphs a and b.

1)     You have to meet someone.  Seems like a stupid thing to say but let me be very clear.  It is not that easy.  Outside of high school, or even some settings in college, meeting people that you may be interested in is NOT an easy thing to do.  The work climate that has been created makes it nearly impossible to attempt anything in the environment known as work.  Where previously in a work environment, one could get to know someone prior to jumping straight into a date, men have been piggish enough to corrupt that system, and women have responded by making any effort on the man’s part evil.  Friends are pretty useless as well.  Most of the time they’re your friends and as such, have the same friends you do.  Other times they want to help but just end up setting you up with someone else who is single without regard to what may/may not be important.  Even going to a place where you know other people are single doesn’t work.  I’ve spent entire nights talking to people who were just being “nice,” and at the end of the night they threw out the “boyfriend” line.  True or not, the end result is the same.  The only way one can guarantee a “single” is online.  Even then, I’ve heard stories that such isn’t always the case.  Regardless of the where or when, one cannot move forward in a relationship without first having another person in that relationship.

2)    Timing.  There are two ways to look at timing.  One is the physical piece.  One cannot meet someone if one is not in a spot to meet them  One turning left at the corner, not right, could mean a perfect potential relationship was missed.  One might forget their keys and have to go back to get them, throwing a potential meeting off by 30 seconds.  One could easily go crazy thinking about this one.  Just accept –  that outside of a forced gathering (we will meet here at this time), the probability of two people being in exactly the right place to meet is small.  More importantly, timing with reference to where someone is in their life.  A perfect match may be right in front of you — but at that particular point in time they’re dating someone else.  Or maybe they’re trying to get through a tough time at work.  Maybe you meet them and they’re just having a bad day.  There are so many factors, both large and small that determine whether or not this moment is the right moment to try and make it happen.

3)    Location.  Two people that live in two distinctly separate places (Chicago and Miami) are most likely not going to try and make anything happen.  What if they meet and one moves immediately?  It’s a romantic idea to try and make it work, but is it really possible at the onset?  Sure, I know plenty of couples who have survived distance, but all of them were well established prior to the distance.  What about a shorter distance?  Maybe one person lives close to where the other works.  Again, without the ability to simply “go home” in a situation, it makes for a difficult start.  A simple “get together” turns into having to pack for a mini vacation.  If they live close to one another, less planning is required, less stress, and if one begins to get annoyed they can just go home without creating a huge incident, exacerbated by the fact that both parties are forced to stay in the same general vicinity with one another.

4)    Careers.  They don’t have to be compatible, but both people should be in similar places.  Well established, or at least comfortable in what they do.  Attaching job stress, which one is just learning, with relationship stress can be incredibly difficult.  It leads to one not understanding what the source of the stress is.  What if one person is thinking of moving to another place for a big promotion?  Would it be prudent to start something when one knows there will be added stress to the stress that already exists?

5)    Convenience.   This sounds callous, I’m aware, but think about it.  Who would voluntarily go into a relationship at the very start that was a significant amount of work?  I don’t mean stepping outside one’s general comfort zone.  It’s more a reference to not always being forced to do things one wouldn’t otherwise normally want to do.  This leads to #6…

6)    Adaptability.  After a certain amount of time in life we create the person that we are.  Through experience, friends and family, work, and habits, each individual has created the person that they are.  Generally, they are that way because they have made choices that seemed correct at the time.  Some of those choices are mistakes, but they have shaped the person.  To walk into a relationship assuming that every choice a person has made up to this point is going to fit perfectly into every choice another person has made is a ridiculous assumption.  I have had people say, “I don’t want you to change for me.”  Well, who then, would I be changing for?  I have created this person that I am and that is what I do.  I am not making the change for me, but rather for our relationship.  There is a clear difference.  If our relationship is important enough, I will make the attempt.  At some point the behavior will either change or be accepted.   It’s not a fundamental issue or character flaw, those probably would have compromised the relationship long ago, it’s just something that has been discovered.   There is a difference between “me,” and “us.”  In a solid relationship, they cannot exist independently, but they can be separate.

7)    Uncommon interests.  Everyone knows there has to be a common interest with any relationship.  I would argue that a very simple, important one, is family and children.  As this becomes less and less a stress point and society has begun to emphasize the individual, common interests are less powerful in holding two people together.  If they have enough, then what will solidify them is the things they don’t do together.  Things they can completely call their own.  Things that are not threatened by the “us.”

Relationships are tough.  They always are.  It takes a significant amount of work, timing, luck, and compromise to make a relationship work.  Outside of being God’s gift to the opposite sex who has to fight off potentials, most of us have difficulty finding someone we have enough compatibility with to get past a superficial discussion about the weather.  So if you find someone you like being with, and they’re stable, and very local, and are fun to talk to, and don’t make you question the difficulties that are already going to exist simply because you’re in a relationship, be sure to think about what you’re doing and why.  As hard as it is, finding someone is the easy part.

(1/42)

For all the independence and individuality we strive to accomplish, as big as we want to become, all the recognition we sometimes strive to get for ourselves, it amounts to very little without people who recognize what we’ve done.  Whether that person be a spouse, significant other, family, or a close circle of friends, it all amounts to little without someone to share our victories, support us in our defeats.

Watch any group of teenagers on a trip.  Sure, there is likely to be a goal.  Maybe it’s a sports team and they’re trying to win a tournament.  Maybe it’s a school trip and the goal is to experience a different culture.  I would argue that you could put that group into any place on the planet and they would still have a good time.  Why?  Because they are with their friends.

So remember when you’re sacrificing everything to become more successful at work, at the end of it all you need to share it with someone.  If you can’t, then even winning the lottery will seem a bit shallow (granted, you will have many more friends AFTER you win the lottery, but that’s a different post).  This in no way means we can’t have individuality, have our own personality, things we like to do ourselves, but it must be remembered in that search for self worth, we are not now, nor will we ever be, alone.

I am one of the baby boomers, born between 1946 and 1964. I sometimes wonder how we survived our childhoods. Consider:

Our mothers smoked and/or drank while pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with brightly colored, lead-based paints.

There were no childproof lids on medicine or special locks on cabinet doors.

We we rode bikes, we wore baseball caps, not specially engineered helmets.

As infants, we rode in cars without car seats or booster seats, no seat belts and no air bags. Sometimes, as tots, we rode in small moving boxes packed with blankets and toys.

We rode in the back of pickup trucks and no one was arrested or cited.

We drank water from garden hoses, not from plastic bottles.

We shared a single bottle of Coca-Cola with three friends — and no one died.

We ate cupcakes with food coloring, white bread, real butter and bacon. In fact, we drank Kool-Aid mixed with tablespoons of real sugar.

Yet we weren’t overweight, because we were always outside playing.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when dusk fell. And no one was able to reach us all day. And: we were okay.

We’d spend hours in the forest with Daisy rifles, or building go-carts without brakes, or sledding with wooden and steel monstrosities that could sever a limb.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-Boxes. There were no video games, no cable television, no DVD players. There were no computers, no web, no Facebook, no Twitter.

We had friends and we went outside and found them… without cell phones or text messages.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits resulting from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns and knives for our birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, played lawn darts and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.

The boomers and their parents have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, inventors and entrepreneurs ever.

The last 50 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

We had the good fortune to grow up as kids in America, before the government regulated so much of our lives “for our own good”.

Give thanks, for such an age will never occur again.

“Why?”  Lance replies.

Publicist, “Just trust me.”

I’m sure the story was a little bit more than that, but this played out so ridiculously well whoever does publicity for Lance had to have a crystal ball.  I’m not going to talk about the rights or wrongs of doping in a situation where everyone is doing it, but I will say when the press is out to get you and they might be right (regardless of why), when you come clean is the most important thing ever.

“Did you see the Lance Armstrong interview?”  … it was talked about for maybe 5 minutes.  The story hasn’t even reached its climax and all of a sudden here comes Manti Te’o.  For those of you who don’t know, Te’o was a Heisman Trophy candidate at Notre Dame whose grandmother died in September, and within hours of her death, the love of his life  died as well.  Wow.  Talk about bad luck.

Well…turns out the love of his life never existed.  It was some practical joke created by a cousin that just spiraled out of control.  Too embarassed to admit they met online, he said they met when Notre Dame played Stanford a couple years ago.  Whatever his involvement, at some point he knew about it because he actually talked about her and the conversations on the phone that put her to sleep.  Wow indeed.  This is such a fantasticly ridiculous joke I can’t even come up with a stupid metaphor for it.  People are talking about how his “stock” is going to go down because no one is going to want a crazy person playing for them … that’s crap.  This guy is going to make so much money that Bill Gates is going to be jealous.  He might even make MORE because now even non-sports people know who he is.  I’m sure he’s embarrassed, but if I was about to make that kind of money for playing a game you could post pictures of me making having sex with monkeys. The guys I listen to on the radio however, said it best, “Te’o, don’t  worry about it, we’ll have something else to talk about after the weekend.

And sure enough, the 49ers and the Ravens both win.  Two brothers facing each other as head coaches in the superbowl.  Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but think about it.  Remember growing up, the guy that wrestled you to the ground and beat the crap out of you?  Well, he’s coaching probably the biggest game of the year in any sport.  His opponent…YOU.  The sports world has something else to talk about.

Lance who?

2)    Assist the cook by keeping him company while he prepares the turkey.  Discover that engineers, even in their genius, sometimes need help when they are only using directions as a guideline.  There are no “how to cook a turkey in your chimenea” directions.  There are directions on “how to barbecue a turkey.”  Realize that you may have marketable skills that smart people need (like physical labor) after all.

3)    Debate with engineers the best way to get a turkey into a makeshift suspension cable/grill contraption without burning your hands and forearms.  Discuss how, while the design is sound, it does not incorporate the tolerance of human beings to searing hot heat.

4)    After getting the turkey suspended, modify the original design to compensate for unknown variables (such as heat escaping).  Create makeshift pieces for the design in order to insure it will cook the turkey within the next few hours without using half the surviving old growth redwoods.  Hope these additional pieces do not catch on fire while cooking the turkey.

5)    Debate the ability/practicality of actually turning the turkey while suspended.  Discuss the pros and cons of just cooking it as is and letting the one side burn.  Agree not to turn it.  Changing the decision when the turkey catches on fire. 

6)    Throwing the recipe away because it does not talk about how to unhook the hooks that have used turkey grease to cook themselves to the grill.  Creating a new plan that will remove the hooks.  Burn one’s fingers while trying to implement this plan and watch the turkey fall out of the chimenea and roll onto the ground.  Quickly pick up the turkey and put it on a cutting board before anyone sees.  Watch smart people fight off Cali the dog for rights to the food which is now on the ground.  Put the turkey (now turned) back into the chimenea.

7)    Take the turkey out of the chimenea, cover it, and let it sit.  Wonder if it will actually taste good…no wonder if it will have any palatable flavor at all.  Pull out the giblets and liver package that is contained within the turkey and is supposed to be removed prior to cooking.  Notice that there is a lot of food on the table and hope no one really wants turkey.

8)    Cut it open and realize this may be the best turkey ever … if not, at least it was entertaining to make.

(yes, it was phenomenal)

What the turkey looked like prior to carving

first thought of debate on turning the turkey

modification #2 (door)

working on putting the turkey back on the fire

original inspiration for the chiminea turkey grill

more food … kind of lets us off the hook

good times with Michelle

some amazing concoction of almonds and brandy

stuffing inside the turkey, an apple, an orange, and an onion…probably the only part of the recipes followed

heating up the fire

closeup of Nick’s amazing engineering

driving up to to Portland

debate on best way to proceed next. Nick with some Portland hand signs, Mike with a burning stick.

We started in the tasting room.  There were a couple of last minute cancellations, and Dave had jury duty … but luckily, he called right before we started because he got out early … ended up getting a 10 person tour with 11 people.  Absolutely a fantastic group of people.

Tasting room bar

Our tour guide was a guy named Jeremiah.  Funny guy and loves working at Anchor.  He made me want to start working as a tour guide, not just for the beer … that would be part of it, but just listening to the history was awesome.   Jeremiah took us down this long corridor and gave a brief history of the brewery.  After the history, he went through the process.  It was pretty interesting, and watching guys in overalls throwing garbage cans full of hops into the vats was pretty cool.

Cooling rack

Steam beer actually has nothing to do with a process…just the fact that originally, after the boiling process, the beer was put into shallow containers on the roof of the brewery to cool and one could see the steam coming off the top of the buildings.  The process is a lot more controlled now and not out in the open, but it’s still mostly the same process.

Perhaps the best part of the tour was the fact that it was a true tour.  Nothing like something canned.  We were literally being told how the beer was made by a guy who actually worked on and made the beer.  Additionally, we were walking around in areas where there were hoses on the ground, pallets of beer from all over … definitely not a tour set up for presentation purposes.  Unless that’s intentional, it makes it a lot more interesting.

Once the tour ended, we went back to the tasting room and sampled all the beers they had on tap.  Jeremiah stayed around long enough to answer any and all of our questions, constantly explaining what the process was in making each beer and what things done differently would change the flavor of the beer.

We ended up meeting up with a couple of other friends and ended the night at Merango.  It’s a slider place on Union that I like because I don’t have to make limiting decisions … if I’m in a turkey and pork mood, I can have both.

Definitely a tour worth taking, and we’ll probably do it again in the near future.

View from the tasting room

enough said

spiral staircase

aging

kegs ready to be shipped

more aging

start of the tour, history of Anchor

hops

more discussion on the process

at Merango, silhouette

Howard at Pier 39

Merry Christmas everyone!  That’s right, Merry Christmas (or as Cartman would say, “Merry F@#!ing Christmas”).  Why so aggressive?  Because, while I understand the separation of church and state, I don’t understand the need for people to prevent someone else from celebrating whatever they want in whatever way they want to celebrate it.  If I say, “Merry Christmas” to someone, and they say, “Happy Hanukkah,” or, “Go Kwanzaa,” or “Wahoo Solstice,” then awesome!  Good for them.  Why does there have to be NONE?  It seems to me that if that is the case and that’s the constitutionally protected stance, then aren’t we promoting one “belief” (or in this case, non-belief) over another?

Working in the public sector, I run into this sort of thing all the time.  It finally got to the point at work where I just stopped putting any decorations up at all.  I had a menorah and a tree, and told anyone who wanted to put anything else out that they were welcome to do so, but in the end I just got tired of justifying it to everyone and just stopped putting anything out at all.  Of course, no one has any problem with the myriad of Buddha statues I have on the shelf, but that’s apparently not advocating a religion … in my case it’s just advocating being fat and happy.

So, in the time of giving and celebration, let’s remember that without Christmas there wouldn’t be a reason to take a lot of time off (regardless of what religion/non-religion you celebrate), drink with friends and relatives, or have your sister give you a personalized bobblehead that looks like you!!!  — Greatest looking bobblehead EVER!

Merry Christmas everyone, regardless of how you celebrate it.

NOTE:  The original was posted on m.ookee.com.  This has been edited since that original post.

I’m going to hell for this.  I’m going so far into to hell for this that if you read it I may suck you down with me.  Consider yourself warned.  The good news?  I’m Catholic.  I just need to say I’m sorry and I’m forgiven, and headed back to Jesus.   You, however, may not be so lucky.  If we take religion out of the argument, and just use the myths and aura of each, who would win?  Jesus, in the white corner, weighing in at 135… or Santa, in the red corner, weighing in at about 280…

Size
As mentioned in the introduction.  Jesus was a skinny bastard (yes, bastard.  Since he wasn’t Joseph’s son, by the dictionary.com definition, he was born out of wedlock, and therefore, a bastard).  Santa is fat.  Fat doesn’t always mean strong, but in this case I’m going with the 280 pound old fart in fleece over the 135 twig in a sheet.  If it helps, ask yourself who would win in a streetfight…Winston Churchill or Mohatma Gandhi.
Advantage:  SANTA

Congeniality
Jesus was well known for “turning the other cheek.”  He was well known for consorting with a well known prostitute of the time, which shows his compassionate side.  But he was also known for calling people “hypocrite!” and apparently he trashed the temple because people were inside just having a little fun.  Santa, too, is pretty judemental (naughty/nice list), but he likes to just arbitrarily give things away.  As for prostitutes…Santa is well known for his use of “HO HO HO.”
Advantage:  SANTA

Speed
It took Jesus a week to get across Jeruselum on a donkey.  Santa gets from one corner of the planet to the other in less than 24 hours.
Advantage:  SANTA

Photogenics
It’s a well known fact that “thin is in.”  Santa, jolly or not, is a fat cow.

Advantage:  JESUS

Kissing one’s sister … fatal flaw of the tie.

Reach
Jesus is in every corner of the globe.  He is in homes, in churches, everywhere  Christianity exists.  Exactly how many Christians there are on the planet is a mystery.  It is almost like the question of  “how many Christians are there” is dodged.  Much like a politician will dodge a question on what they think about an issue.  If one considers that Christianity is one of the “three great religions” and lets each be equal in size (which is horribly innacurate, but at least I’m putting up some numbers), and then takes out the 10% that are atheists, that means that Jesus reaches 30% of the people at any one time.  Santa is only around at Christmastime.  Santa is however, despite being a Christian icon, used worldwide as a symbol, regardless of religion.  Christians use the image of Santa, but so do atheists and anyone else wanting to take part in the “giving” that is Christmas.  That makes it extremely hard to call.
Advantage:  TIE

Strength
There really is nothing to reference with respect to strength.  But this is a fight, and it’s a very important characteristic.  Israel, where Jesus is from, is a desert.  The North Pole, is an ice cap.  Neither very hospitable.  Israel is in a constant state of conflict, the North Pole hasn’t seen war in … well … I don’t think ever.  That is some commanding respect.  Santa has something going for him here.  I’m not sure what it is, an army of ninja elves or some such nonsense … but it has to give him the advantage.
Advantage: SANTA

Likability
Santa gives you presents and is cheerful.  Jesus makes you feel guilty all the time about trying to be a better person, or because you don’t give enough.  That’s great.  This coming from some poor guy who was born in a barn.
Advantage: SANTA

Stamina
Santa is fat, we’ve covered this, and he’s only able to work one night a year.  Jesus is pretty consistent, all the time.
Advantage: Jesus

Common Sense
Santa rewards good kids and ignores bad kids.  Jesus lets you do anything you want if you’re sorry about it later.  No hard feelings, you’re forgiven.
Advantage: SANTA

Jesus was a hippie.
Advantage: SANTA

Final Results:  Hands down, Santa wins 7-2, with one tie.